SMCM Parent/Family Newsletter Full Article for OS3 Website

Brace Yourselves … They’re Coming Home

Joanne Goldwater
Associate Dean for Retention & Student Success/Seahawk Family Liaison
Office of Student Success Services (OS3)
December 2025

Your college student is about to re-enter your home for a month. For some of you, this is the first time they will be home since you dropped them off in August. For others, your student never left home; the difference is, they will be around a lot more because they don’t have classes, activities, etc. on campus between Dec. 19 – Jan. 19. Are you ready to navigate this time together? Brace yourself!

Be Prepared. Try Not to Be Rattled.

• They believe that they are independent adults. They have been “on their own”, making their own decisions about what to eat, when to eat, when to go to bed, when to study, etc.
• Their time schedules may be a lot different than yours. Bedtimes, meal times, when they do their laundry, etc. may have changed since they were in high school.
• Their appearance may have changed. Hair color, length and style, tattoos, piercings, their clothing may be different.
• They are formulating their own ideas. They have been listening to and learning from people from different backgrounds and cultures, with different ideas and perspectives.
• It may take some time for your student to adjust to being home again. It may take some time for YOU to adjust to your student being home again.
• Your student may miss their college friends and may be a little sad. They may refer to school as “home.” (This is a good sign!)

Establish Expectations

Be prepared to discuss and ask questions:

• • Meals together
    • Ask: Which meals will you attend with the family?
  • Family events
    • Ask: Are you willing to attend [fill in the blank] family events/outings while you’re home?
  • Curfew? (Remember: for students living on campus, they haven’t had a curfew.)
    • Ask: What time should I call the police to inform them you are missing?
  • Spending time together
    • Ask: What do you want to do when you come home during the Break?
  • Use of the car
    • Discuss: If and when they can borrow the car. Do you expect them to fill up the tank?
  • Laundry
    • Discuss: Do you expect them to do their own laundry while they are home?
  • Guests
    • Discuss: Will you allow friends to visit? If so, when? What are the sleeping arrangements going to be?
  • Chores
    • Discuss: What chores do you expect your student to do while they are home?

Advice

• Don’t schedule every minute/evening of their time while they are home. They will want time to visit with their friends.
• Some students (e.g. those taking a Winter course, those finishing an Incomplete from the fall semester, those trying to get ahead on the start of the Spring semester, students working on their St. Mary’s Projects or other research work) may have academic work to do during the Break.
• Give them time to recover and recuperate from an intense period (exam week). They are tired, burned out. They may be irritable and sleep-deprived upon arrival at home. They are likely looking forward to some home-cooked meals. Be supportive. Give them some space.
• Don’t expect things to be the same as they were before they left for college.
• Refrain from nagging or criticizing.
• Try not to over-indulge your student.
• Re-establish YOUR house rules.
• If you have “re-purposed” their old bedroom, make sure they have a place for themselves to be alone.
• Embrace the emerging adult they are becoming!

Spending quality time with your student during Winter Break can be precious and full of memories. Following these tips will help to ensure the memories are good ones for all of you!