Navigating Changes Your Student May Face

By Winnie Essel, Student Support Specialist in the Office of Student Success Services

Over Winter Break, you might have noticed changes in your child’s personality, opinions, or mindset. These changes may be subtle but can feel surprising or even uncomfortable. Nonetheless, they are a normal part of the college experience and growing up in general.

College is designed to challenge students and help them grow. As they learn more about the world, they also gain a deeper understanding of themselves. During that time, your role as a parent shifts from directing their “every move” to providing support and guidance. Your support helps your child become a more confident, independent adult.

Students change for many reasons during college:

• New home and independence
  • They are living in a new environment with more freedom and responsibility. They have to make their own choices. This gives them the space to explore who they are and who they want to become.
• Meeting new people and ideas
  • College brings together people from different cultures and backgrounds. These new friendships can open their minds and change how they see the world.
• Challenges with School
  • College classes push students to think deeply and question traditional ideas. This growth often leads to changes in opinions and an increase in confidence.

While these changes might not be what you imagined for your child, how you respond to them matters a lot. Think back to how you felt during this stage in your life. Use the tips below to guide how you talk with your child and support their growth.

• Practice Curiosity, Not Criticism
  • Ask questions and truly listen to the answers. Showing interest can help you understand who your child is becoming. Criticism, even with the best of intentions, can create distance and make them feel misunderstood or judged.
  • Say things like:
    • “Can you tell me more about how you came to this decision?”
    • “I want to understand what this experience has been like for you.”
• Allow Independence in Decision-Making
  • We all make mistakes; they’re a normal part of learning. Giving your child space to make them helps them grow and build confidence.
  • Say things like:
    • What options are you considering? What feels right to you?”
    • “I trust you to figure this out, and I’m here if you need help.”
• Celebrate Growth, Even When it’s Unfamiliar
  • Growth doesn’t always look the way we expect, but it’s still worth recognizing. For example, your child may come home with a buzz cut over break because they wanted a change, and it’s easier for them to manage. Though it may be a surprise, you notice that they are much happier and much more quickly in the morning. Recognizing these positive changes helps you support their independence and
• Avoid Projecting Your Fears Onto Them
  • Your worries are understandable, but projecting them onto your child can add more stress instead of support. Try to separate your fears from your child’s experience.
• Validate Their Experiences
  • Even if you don’t fully agree, acknowledging their feelings shows not only that you care but that you respect them too.
  • Say things like:
    • “That sounds really challenging.”
    • “I can see why you’d feel that way.”
    • “Thank you for trusting me enough to share this.”

The goal isn’t to keep your child the same forever; as they become adults, the goal shifts towards supporting them as they become who they’re meant to be. So trust that you did all that you could as a parent to put them on the right path. We all thank you for the vital role you play in your students’ journey.