Office of Student Success Services

By Jess Jolly, Director of Counseling

College breaks (Thanksgiving and Winter) are upon us! This time of year college students make their way back home for an extended visit. Perhaps your student has been visiting during the semester or this upcoming break is the first time that you’ve seen them since drop-offs back in August. If either situation applies to you, it may be helpful to check in with your student – not only in regards to their academic progress, but also their mental health. Here are a few tips for checking in on your student’s wellness.

1. If talking about mental health is not something you often discuss, please know that you are not alone. Even a brief check-in can be useful and promote a sense of support and a bond between you and your student. It may be hard to talk about this topic, but that’s okay. Sharing that this topic is new for you can help your student to understand where you are coming from and that you care. Comments like “ I know we don’t talk about this, but I want to make sure you know I’m here for you if you need me. How are things going for you?” can help start the conversation regarding your student’s well-being. Doing activities together while talking can help to promote a sense of connection and break the ice. Try talking during a shared activity such as walking, cooking, or a game.
2. Sometimes conversations don’t go as planned. Moments of silence can be ok. Allow your student some time to think or come back to the conversation when they are ready. Try asking open-ended questions such as “Tell me about how this semester has been for you so far?” This may open up more discussion. If you do have concerns about your student, also consider asking questions such as “I noticed you seem more tired than you have before. I’m wondering if this is due to your workload, stress, or something else?”
3. Listening can be a powerful tool. It’s ok if you don’t have all the answers, the act of simply listening can serve as a way to connect if your student is in need of help in the future. It’s ok if you may need a moment during a conversation. Try taking some deep breaths during stressful or emotional topics.
4. Get to know the resources that your student can use. If your student admits that they are struggling with classes, classwork, or feeling high levels of stress, depression, and anxiety – suggest that they use on-campus services such as The Wellness Center or the Office of Student Success Services (OS3). Ask if your student has friend groups, advisors, or other students or staff that they consider to be supportive and suggest that they make a plan to connect. Take what they say seriously. If you are worried about your student’s well being or they mention topics such as self-harm or thoughts of suicide, it can be hard to hear. Encourage your student to work with a therapist. If your student tells you that they are thinking about hurting themselves, contact a crisis hotline such as dialing “988” to get quickly get advice and help for your student. Your student can also dial 988 to talk to a trained counselor. The 988 crisis hotline is available in Spanish and can also be texted.

The Wellness Center provides mental health assistance including walk-in counseling hours, peer support, short term counseling, and psychiatric medication management services.

To access our 24/7 helpline students may dial 240-895-4200. For more information please visit our website at www.smcm.edu/wellness

The Wellness Center has a full list of local off-campus referrals. Please visit: /�ɱ�����Ա����/�Ǵڴ�-��������ܲ�-������dzܰ������/����Գٲ���-��𲹱��ٳ�-����ڱ��������-��������-2023-2/��

To see our list of mental health providers within Maryland and across the country please visit Welltrack Connect, a referral system for college students seeking off campus mental health support. Search for a provider by speciality, geographic location, insurances accepted, and demographics of the provider:

By Joanne Goldwater, Associate Dean for Retention & Student Success/

Seahawk Family Liaison

Congratulations! You have an emerging adult on your hands. Woo hoo!

Giving your student their “wings” is an important step for parents and families. As young adults, they need to learn to take care of themselves, speak up for what they need and want, ask for help, and manage their lives (after all, you don’t want to be paying their credit card bill when they’re 35, right?). But, just because your student goes off to college does not mean that they no longer need or want your advice, support, and sometimes, your assistance. So, why, how, and when should you contact the college and when should you stand by and allow your student to handle their challenges?

Common Challenges that Students Should Handle Themselves:

• Roommate problems
• Grade conflicts & missing assignments
• Minor conduct violations
• Dislike an instructor’s teaching style
• Getting accommodations
• Looking for/applying for a campus job
• Submitting requests, reports, etc.
• Awareness of upcoming deadlines
• Regularly checking their email
• Finding an academic advisor
• Picking a major/minor
• Using the Portal (course schedules, grades, etc.)
• Requesting copies of health records
• Making their own medical appointments
• Scheduling/attending meetings
• Arranging off-campus transportation
• Maintenance issues

Times When Parents May Want to Contact the College

• A significant change in the student’s behavior, mental/physical health
• A change in the family that may impact the student academically, emotionally, financially, psychologically (e.g. divorce, death in the family, foreclosure, loss of a job, etc.)
• An emergency or dangerous situation exists
• A situation does not get any response even after the student makes multiple attempts
• To thank someone for their help, support

WHY?

You assist:

• Because you love your child!
• You want what’s in your student’s best interest.
• You want to stay connected with your student.

Remember –

• It is your job to empower your student to learn how to handle challenges they may face.

HOW?

What you should do:

• Listen to your student without judgment, blame. Help your student identify what the real issues are.
• Advise and support your student.
• Encourage your student to discuss the issue with the right person on campus (e.g., discuss a roommate problem with their roommate and/or their RA or RHC; discuss an academic issue with their instructor or academic advisor during “student visiting hours”; discuss other issues with a staff member in the Office of Student Success Services or with the Dean of Students, etc.).
• If you feel like you need to contact the College, feel free to start with the Seahawk Family Liaison (Joanne Goldwater). I can help parents cut through the red tape.
• If it is an emergency situation, please contact Public Safety (see below)

What NOT to do:

• Call a roommate’s parents, friends of your student, the student’s instructor or advisor, the College President.
• Attend a conduct hearing

WHEN?

You should contact the College:

• Sooner rather than later, especially if your student is exhibiting unusual behavior.
• If all of your advice has been tried and your student is still having trouble.

BONUS: Who to Contact?

Public Safety (24/7): 240-895-4911

Seahawk Family Liaison: 240-895-4388, families@smcm.edu (Glendening 230)

Office of Student Success Services: 240-895-4388, os3@smcm.edu (Glendening 230)

Dean of Students: 240-895-4209, dmyoung@smcm.edu (Campus Center 143)

Office of Residence Life: 240-895-4207 (Glendening 150)

Wellness Center: 240-895-4289

 

Please remember:  We want to partner with you to provide the highest level of support possible. At the same time, you want to avoid becoming the “helicopter” (hovering), “Blackhawk” (shooting down), “snowplow” (plowing over), “lawnmower” (cutting down everything in your path) parent. When you allow your student to face challenges by limiting your involvement, you give them a chance to mature, learn important skills, learn how to be responsible and accountable, gain confidence, and help them with “adulting 101”.

(Adapted from Innovative Educators)

By Joanne Goldwater, Associate Dean for Retention & Student Success/

Seahawk Family Liaison

We want to urge open conversations between parents and their students. There are six adjustments that all students have to make:

1. Financial: College costs a lot of money and some students may need or want to work, and some may want to look into ways to pay for college such as loans.

• Ask: How much money do you think you will need this semester? Do you plan to get a job? If so, how many hours a week do you plan to work on a job? How will you balance your classwork, a job, and having fun?
  • OS3 recommends that if a student decides to get a job, they should not work more than 10 hours a week in order to balance classes and homework, social life, and the job.
  • Students looking for a job can work with the Center for Career and Professional Development (210 Glendening Hall) or use
• Also ask about financial aid: What financial aid (scholarship, grant, loan) is available for you? When is the FAFSA due? When can we work together to submit the FAFSA? What do you know about taking out a student loan? Who can you contact to get more information?
  • OS3 suggests referring your student to the Office of Student Financial Assistance (OSFA) for help with FAFSA, loans, grants, scholarships, and financial literacy in general. Call 240-895-3000 or email osfa@smcm.edu.

2. Cultural: Learning about the lives, backgrounds, culture of other students and learning about the college setting helps students to connect with others and recognize that they belong.

• Ask: What has been the biggest surprise for you at the College? Of the people you’ve met so far, who comes from the furthest away? Who among your friends is most like you, and who is least like you? In what ways are they the same or not the same as you? What have you learned about your roommate/hallmates/new friends?
  • OS3 recommends that students make friends with people from a variety of backgrounds, life experiences, etc.

3. Intellectual: This relates to how students think and work out problems, and  create solutions.

• Ask: What topics have you and other students discussed outside of class? What’s the buzz on campus about [recent news event]?
  • OS3 suggests that students stay informed on current events, talk with peers and faculty/staff about world events outside of class, and think beyond themselves about their place in the world.

4. Academic: Students have to work hard and do well. 

• Ask: How do you feel you are adjusting to your classes and classwork? Did your high school prepare you for your college classes? How are you managing challenges in your classes and with your coursework?
  • OS3 recommends that if students are struggling in classes, they should meet with a staff member in OS3 for coaching, tips on study skills/time management/note-taking, test-taking, etc. If students are having trouble with writing, they should make an appointment with a peer mentor in the Writing & Speaking Center.  They should also meet with their instructors during the instructors’ “student visiting hours” (a.k.a. “office hours”).

5. Social: Students need to believe that they belong on our campus. They need friends and can connect with their professors. Joining a club, and getting to know others helps students want to stay. 

• Ask: Who are your friends? What activities are you doing (outside of classwork)?
  • OS3 suggests that students get involved with a club, SGA, Programs Board, intramural sports, club sports, volunteering, advisory council, etc. It is vital to students’ well-being to engage in at least one recurring activity each semester (to have fun, learn leadership and work-related skills, meet other students). This will help the student feel a sense of belonging and connection with others.

6. Emotional: Recent research suggests that students are experiencing  more anxiety than depression on campus. Students tell us that they are stressed more today than before Covid. This stress hurts students and impacts their mental health.

• Ask students to think about how they are adjusting to college. Are they feeling high levels of stress, anxiety, depression or low mood cycles?
  • OS3 recommends that students who may be dealing with anxiety, depression, overwhelming stress, etc. meet with one of our trained counselors in the Wellness Center. They can call 240-895-4289 to make an appointment or go to walk-in hours Monday through Friday, 1-3 PM. For emergencies, students can use the 24/7 Proto-Call Helpline: 240-895-4200.

We urge parents and family members to ask open-ended questions (questions that need more than a one-word answer), and listen patiently and without judgment to the student’s responses. Providing support is one of the most important tasks you can do for your student. For additional suggestions, advice, or assistance, or if you wish to share info with us, please feel free to contact Joanne Goldwater, the Seahawk Family Liaison (and Associate Dean for Retention & Student Success) at jagoldwater@smcm.edu or 240-895-4388.

Sources:

“3 Questions Parents Should Ask Their 1st Year Student”.

Lee, J., Jeong, H. J., & Kim, S. (2021, April 23). Stress, Anxiety, and Depression Among Undergraduate Students during the COVID-19 Pandemic and their Use of Mental Health Services. National Library of Medicine. Retrieved August 12, 2023, from .